"Peace is not the absence of conflict.
Peace is the ability to cope with conflict."
Over the last decade, a new discipline – conflict coaching – has emerged from the synthesis of executive coaching and Alternative Dispute Resolution.
I have been trained in REAL Conflict Coaching, a one-on-one process through which I support your abilities to understand the conflict you are facing, envision a preferred future, and plan specific actions to get you there.
The REAL Conflict Coaching process normally proceeds in these steps, across one or more sessions of about an hour each:
- Intake. Here we will make sure that my approach to conflict coaching will work for you, agree the ground rules, fees, and confidentiality.
- Goal Setting. Overall, and for each session, we will discuss what you are looking to achieve, in specific terms.
- What Happened? You will describe the conflict you are facing, and we will dig into the situation in detail. My questions will help "thicken the plot" so that we uncover all the information you need to create a preferred future.
- Why Does It Matter? We will work together to understand why the conflict you are facing is important to you in terms of your needs, you sense of self, emotions, and your own sense of power – yours and others.
- Other Perspectives. How do you think other people – your counterpart, other interested parties – view the situation?
- Preferred Future. Now, having understood what happened and why it matters, we will work together to describe a better future, in which the conflict has been managed appropriately, the dispute resolved, the best outcome realized.
- Action Steps. This is where it comes together: we will create a plan through which you will move towards that "preferred future". The plan will be specific, ordered, realistic, timely, and concrete.
- Reflection. At the end of each of our sessions, we'll talk about how it went, what you learned, and you'll give me feedback.
- Closure. I'll summarize what we've achieved and reiterate next steps.
- Exit. And, in the great majority of situations, after a session or two you will have the understanding, tools, and confidence to move forward!
How can you build your conflict skills? How can you understand how to manage conflict, resolve disputes, get the best results from an upcoming mediation session? Contact me to explore your options!
(1) Jones, T. S., and R. Brinkert. 2008. Conflict Coaching: Conflict Management Strategies and Skills for the Individual. pp 4-5. Thousand Oaks, CA, USA: Sage.